Can we all agree there’s an “expectation list” to check when you’re 30?
About marriage. When I was small I wanted to become a singer, a news anchor, a police woman, a lawyer and a fashion designer…in that order. My career goals seemed to drastically change as I grew up. But what I knew for sure is that I wanted to go to college, find a job and only after I’m stable on my own, I’ll get married. I figured 27 is a great age to have a wedding.
I did go to college and my career is on a promising path, but we’re not married and we’re not even planning and we’re having the best time ever. I mean if you ask me, we might as well be married if marriage is more than a certificate.
Am I looking forward to a complicated and expensive wedding where I’d invite people from 6 different cities and 3 different countries where everyone judges my dress, my location, the food, the band, the dj? No, not really. Am I tired of being asked about it? Yes, yes I am. When will people start asking: are you happy? does he treat you well?
Sometimes it feels like we don’t have our friends’ approval or that my relationship is not serious enough because we are not married. That seems a little unfair. Marriage should be about respect, trust, kindness and support. Why can’t people imagine that someone can commit to all of that without signing a paper? Especially today when people easily can get out of that commitment…
About babies. Is it really that bad if I don’t want to start having babies? I know they say that you’re not supposed to wait until you’re ready to have babies, because you’ll never REALLY be ready, but I just can’t imagine myself with a baby yet. Of course I thought about it. My conclusion is I would be awesome as a mother and our DNA might produce the best baby ever. But when I thought about it, when I visualised it, we weren’t living in a rented apartment and we didn’t have to worry about paying rent and buying diapers. In my vision we are rent free and we’re financially and professionally secure and the baby was not the “dream killer”.
About home. Right now these things seem so far away from us. A few years ago I decided to make peace with the thought that I’ll never own a property and I’ll be living in rent my whole life…and I did. Except lately I’ve been starting to ache for a place. It’s like I miss it… Like I miss my home, but I don’t even have it yet. Weird feeling, can’t really explain it.
About now. Our balcony is 8 meters long. Don’t be wowed. It’s an ugly rusted balcony. We only use it for storage. But the view is exquisite. I can never properly wash the windows because I’m above a sidewalk and it’s not ideal to walk down the street, on your way to work and have water and detergent drip on you, so I can’t bring myself to do it. But this is my next week’s resolution. I’ll be sharing my sunset with you when I’m done.