Perspective

It was December 2015. I had been working as a kindergarten music and piano teacher in Bucharest for more than 2 years. The Jazz in Kindergarten project was blooming, not really like I wanted to, live band and everything…but still, pretty good. Parents loved it, kids loved it, I loved it. I finally had a hang of what music classes should look like in kindergarten, I had created my own sequence, it was finally flowing. And finally had my piano method and approach figured out.

Behind the scenes trouble was piling up. It’s hard to work with people who don’t give their best. It’s hard to work with impulsive, unbalanced and irascible people. It’s hard to work with arrogant and proud people. These people were turning my days and my passion into dread. How rare and how precious it is these days to actually find your calling and earn a living through it. Well, imagine someone taking that and turning it into dread.

Throughout the Christmas holiday I just started to open my mind to the idea of quitting my job, even though I had never done it before. It was a weird Christmas holiday…no snow, no frost, just sunny, warm weather, couldn’t even bring myself to hum carols like I usually do. I talked to my friends and family about it, about quitting my job, not about the weather. Had no idea what would be next, but I was terrified of staying at my job…that option couldn’t be next.

I imagined that with my impressive resume and my unique training, schools were going to jump at the opportunity to hire me. It wasn’t like that. I had fewer offers than I was expecting and beneath my desires.

The only acceptable offer I had was a collaboration that was supposed to start this autumn. Meanwhile I turned them down. I recently realised it was another dread in disguise.

If someone told me: You are going to spend the next year earning only from private piano classes, I probably never would’ve quit my job. I wouldn’t have been able to see what could be beyond, what was on this other side.

So I’ve been spending the last few months preparing myself for a job that isn’t happening anymore and now I’m a little excited about the idea of simply teaching piano. It’s a wonderful thought, I’ve got so many ideas, although I am awfully good in the classroom, feels like I’m wasting a great talent…but can’t compromise, not knowing what I know now.

You start to realise at one point that no amount of money is worth you health and your precious time with family.

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14 thoughts on “Perspective

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  1. It sounds like a scary and difficult journey that is still unfolding, but I’m excited and hopeful for the joy that you’re finding now. If I knew the challenges and hardships I would face on the path that led me to the place I’m in right now, I never would have disclosed my eating disorder to anyone. I never wanted the painful, miserable course that was necessary before I could really break into recovery. I think it’s a blessing that we can only see what’s in front of our faces sometimes, so to speak.

    Your open and honest posts always find a way of surprising me and catching me off guard, Ioana. I think I should thank you for that. πŸ™‚

    P.S. I am definitely going to post about the happiness tag as soon as I get a chance! Thanks again for tagging me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Lulu! This is so encouraging! Truly! All I’m doing is think about what’s to come and I keep imagining versions of my future and it feels a little surreal…could I really get there? or will I just stay stuck…? Mostly because I’m realising that in order to get there, I’ll have to work really hard on my own. No one will be there to praise me and tell me I’m doing good, I’m on the right track. I’ll have to do it myself until I’m there.
      P.S: Don’t worry about the tag, I’m well behind on some awards myself πŸ™‚

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  2. Precious time with your family is priceless. You only have them for a very short time. Enjoy every minute of it. In my experience, it is good to keep your eyes open for jobs. Network and introduce yourself to people with jobs you would like. Do these things without any expectations of finding a job. One day, the perfect job will just fall in your lap.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You have the right attitude, and who knows what may happen as you teach piano lessons? As you become close with the children, you will get to know their parents and caregivers, and that may lead to a new path. Stay happy and enjoy those piano lessons. Life can have interesting paths. -Jennie-

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You made a very brave decision to change your life for the better and you definitely need to give yourself credit for that. You are one of the lucky few who can honestly say they love their jobs and it is heartening to read about your excitement for teaching. I wish you all the very best and hope that things work out for you soon! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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